Friday, November 4, 2011

Suflet bacovian




Ger năprasnic... pentru ultima oară
Golul apasă şi-ncepe să doară.
Somnul tristeţii mă-nvăluie greu...
De ce-aruncă venin în sufletul meu?

Zăpada răsună, m-aruncă în iarnă,
Dar mă-nconjoară o aprigă toamnă.
Totul e rece, pustiu şi vântul
Împodobeşte din timp cu flori aşezământul...

M-alungă pe trepte negre de piatră
O clipă tainică de timp îngheţată...
Şi vine, şi pleacă: se joacă cu mine,
Şopteşte şi urlă! Câtă cruzime!

Nu mai aud glasuri şi inimi de viaţă,
Îmi căntă norii – văluri de ceaţă...
M-atinge cu frunze uscate demult,
Nu!... Nu e moartea, e... sufletu-mi mut!



Martorii iubirii



Vântul a tresărit printre crengi;
Mii de petale sunt acum fluturi
Ce-mi aduc şoaptele lor parfumate...
Zarzărul.

Un roi de luminiţe jucându-mi în ochi –
Dragostea s-a născut... din înalt,
Dar noaptea îi va adormi clopoţeii...
Salcâmul.

Cu mireasma sa dulce m-a atras
Când florile-i de aur s-au trezit
Clipind somnoroase din gene de miere...
Teiul.

Verde... veşnic verde, dar cu ace reci
Aduce durere multă. Dar iubire?
Dacă ar avea, s-ar stinge la sfârşit de toamnă…
Bradul.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Rătăcind...



M-am pierdut în plimbări
pe cărările tainice ale toamnei...
Septembrie mi-a dăruit
ghinde și castane zgribulite...

Le-am primit cu drag.

Sufletul meu râde acum,
mai fericit, mai bogat, mai împlinit...

Pășesc alene spre casă,
respirând aerul cu parfum de poezie.
Ajung în pragul ușii cu toamna în suflet...
Și în geantă...



Saturday, September 24, 2011

Septembrie

Cad castane. Nu te feri!
Întinde mâna, culege-le;
bucură-te de cele mai prețioase comori ale toamnei...
Zâmbește soarelui 
și adăpostește în suflet
minunatul tablou pe care îl primești în dar...


Friday, September 23, 2011

Toamna dansează...


Toamna dansează
... printre crengile copacilor triști,
făcând vântul să plângă
cu frunze vii și moarte...
Septembrie cântă înfrigurat...


Zâmbetul toamnei
îmi mângâie ușor sufletul...
Culeg veselă
raze calde de soare,
modelând versuri...

 ♥
 
Sângele toamnei
îmi picură arome în vene,
mânjindu-mi imaginația
cu frunze melancolice, 
scrise într-un caiet
îngălbenit de vreme...

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Pitiful...

Poor creatures... 

Some of them blush... They feel so puny and ugly when she comes around...
Others turn pale... She seems so strong and merciless that they fear she will bring them death...
Later on, they all turn brown in fury and weakness... 
She is so beautiful, but still so cold. She walks among them like a goddess, carrying her colourful dress and her chilling tears. Sometimes, she gets mad and turns the whole world upside-down, making people open their umbrellas and hurry home, to cuddle in their beloved ones' arms.
Trees, bending before her as if they were her slaves... and she mocks them, so badly... She smiles gently; the sun in her hair at sunset is so sweet that they all melt and they sacrifice their heavy beautiful coat... They give it to her, no regrets and her dress grows more and more, every day prettier. She shines, she seems to be so warm, so loving, repaying them with scented poetical fruits. But in the end they have nothing left. Their leaves, their fruits, their hearts... Everything is taken away... 
So she does every year, she always gets what she wants, using her fake warmth and kindness. 
Poor innocent souls! Their nudity is so sad, that even a poet's heart would bleed at such a view, before being able to graze a few lyrics. 
And then she leaves, her tempestuous laugh increasing the pain, the frustration and making them look even more miserable... She leaves behind her windy wrath, her rainy lack of soul and her unforgettable coldness...
They hate her, but what can they do? Endure winter with the little power they have, there's no other way... No other way...

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Miresmele copilariei (I)



Miroase a ardei copt şi a vinete coapte... Cine ar fi crezut că aici, în mijlocul unui oraş atât de gălăgios şi gri, poate să miroasă a vacanţă? Închid ochii, strivind două mărgele amare între pleoape, şi îmi amintesc de vacanţele mari din curtea casei părinteşti. August era doar începutul. Ne pregăteam deja de iarnă. Toată lumea muncea de zor printre legumele cu zâmbet încă văratic. Roşii, ardei, vinete, morcovi, varză, castraveţi etc. Asteptau cuminţi să devină pe rând provizii pentru cămara cu bunătăţi. 

Astfel, când gerul alb îşi făcea simţită prezenţa, singura noastră grijă, a copiilor, era câte întrebuinţări poate avea un strat pufos de zapadă.
Munceam cu drag atunci. Era obositor, dar şi frumos... Şi acum aş face la fel, dar... Vacanţele mari nu mai  există. Timpul nu s-a îndurat... Necruţător ca întotdeauna, a întors filele inocenţei una câte una până la epuizare... Iar copilăria şi-a luat tălpăşiţa mai repede decât credeam vreodată. A rămas în urma ei doar o povară imensă care stoarce lacrimi din când în când...

M-am bucurat de anii de copil ca de o carte care îmi place la nebunie şi pe care o citesc pe nerăsuflate, fără să-mi dau seama că o voi termina prea repede... Diferenţa este că pot oricând să recitesc orice carte, dar paginile copilăriei nu pot fi intoarse nicicând... decât în amintiri. Asta nu e de ajuns... Niciodată nu va fi de ajuns...

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Citate dragi sufletului meu (I)



La Medeleni - Ionel Teodoreanu

"Piersicul înflorit - îl vezi şi-nchizi ochii fiindcă ai avut, cu o bătaie de inimă, icoana întâii sărutări: buzele roşii care-au zâmbit, obrajii copilăreşti care s-au înroşit. E trist un piersic înflorit, fiindcă alături de el, oricât ai fi de tânăr, eşti bătrân."

"Când eşti trist îţi vine să dormi şi să uiţi. Îţi vine să-ţi culci capul pe genunchii altcuiva care te iubeşte, sau dacă eşti singur şi n-ai pe nimeni, să ţi-l culci pe palmele tale. Da. Îţi vine să dormi când eşti trist. Şi să uiţi... Dar când te trezeşti? Iar eşti trist şi nu mai poţi s-adormi din nou..."

"Dacă pământul pe care mergi, pe care-l calci fără să te gândeşti la el - durere încorporată în paşi ca cerul în ochi - ai simţi deodată că suferă din pricina ta, fiindcă paşii tăi sunt grei; dacă ai simţi înlăuntrul lui ca o durere fără de expresie aparentă - ce-ai face: ai merge înainte sau te-ai opri?"

"Sunt oameni făcuţi ca să iubească o singură dată în viaţa lor, şi alţii făcuţi să fie iubiţi pentru totdeauna."

"Acele daruri numai care dovedesc că aducătorul lor te cunoaşte, şi-a amintit de tine, te-a reconstituit, şi-a frământat mintea culegându-ţi în amintire exclamaţiile, poftele exprimate sau înăbuşite - dau bucurie. Ele îţi arată că ai existat în sufletul celui care ţi le aduce, şi darul, astfel numai, îşi pierde semnificaţia indiferentă de lucru cumpărat, căpătând-o pe aceea de răsfrângere a dorinţei tale în afecţiunea altuia."

"Blândă ca de obicei, ea era tristă ca de obicei, dar nimeni nu ştia, căci ea zâmbea ca de obicei."

It's complicated...


Why do we wish for things we know we'll never have? Why waiting for so long for that one specific thing or person we know will never come?
There are so many people out there who are waiting and waiting for something impossible to obtain, ignoring how much they have, how happy they would be if they knew how to appreciate what they have. So they are getting old, they waste their lives craving for what they'll never have and never enjoy, instead of enjoying their present, the people around them and all the important and beautiful things God has given to them.
Somehow, they are not to blame... Because wanting more than one has, sometimes means improvement and going behind one's limit...
However, it all depends on our way to see things and on the ability to survive our own wishes...
We all know that impossible may become possible... But what if the price for that is unbearable high???...

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

How I envy you, Alice!





Feeling more and more that this isn't the right path... Not anymore for me... Sometimes I just want to return, no matter what the consequences are. I just want to live again those days when I could read hundreds of books without caring about eating or sleeping, to those afternoons when I could daydream for hours in the garden, among red roses and butterflies, to those nights when I was falling asleep caressed by the moon light and enchanted by the crickets' peaceful song....
Those years were not the happiest of my life, but they were definitely more serene than what I'm living now. Someone said in a song that "when you're young, life is easy", but he wasn't right at all. Because here I am, young and with a life anything but easy... I know there are people that are really unhappy and helpless, but sometimes, no matter how hard I try to ignore all the unpleasant things, I can't do it.
Life can really be overwhelming...

Yes, I want to return!!! This is not the path I want to walk on! This is not what I wished for! This forest is way too dark, those trees are too hideous, posion ivy all around  me and no blue sky above me!!! This is one of those moments when I want to seal myself into a match box and stay there forever so that no one can find me, so that nothing can hurt me! I want to be so small, like Alice, to find my own Wonderland, the Wonderland I used to dream during all my childhood, where nothing went wrong, and if it did, I would fix it immediately.


But wait! What is this feeling??? Coming out of my back, white feathers all over, huge wings! This is my chance to fly, to run away from everything I hate, from everything that kills me inside every second, to... Wait a minute! Run away? I never did that before... But it's so tempting, to fly up in the sky, to forget all the bitter I had to drink for years, all the hard ground I had to step on bare-footed, all the chances they took away from me...
And still, running away has never been a solution. I choose to stay here for a while more... Maybe... maybe... things will work my way eventually. Who knows? Somewhere in this world there has to be a little ray of light for me, a small piece of heaven I will discover if I keep walking, something, anything! that can force me to go on. I'll keep the wings... to use them at the right moment...

It doesn't feel so good... But you know what they say: Everything will be OK in the end. So if it's not OK, IT IS NOT THE END...



P.S. How I hate you, Time! Passer-by!!!!

Sunday, July 31, 2011

I'm a shooting star...

...make a wish when you see me... It might come true ;)



Behind the moon and the faraway stars there's a mystical world... but you can reach it and enjoy it only if you believe in magic...

Wishes

If someone asked you: "Is it hard to make a wish?" you would say "No, how can that be hard. But it is hard to make them come true"
But how difficult is it to make the right wish? I can answer that. It is extremely difficult. We can wish for so many things but, like they say, be careful what you wish for: it may come true.
Now I'm caught in the middle of hundreds of wishes. And I'm afraid... I have so many dreams, so many hopes. What if they fulfill? What if they turn me into the happiest person on Earth? That would the best thing. But... What if they are no good for me? What if the things I wish for will hurt my soul so badly that I wouldn't want to live anymore?...

So many "What ifs"... Despite all the chances we have to take when we wish for something, I let myself live with this burden I have to carry with me. The sweet burden of all the beautiful dreams I have and that in my mind grow with the most amazing shape ever. Hopefully, if what I want turns to be better than I expected, there will be nothing to lose...
But if what I get is not what I want, I don't want to think about the despair and sadenss that will seal my life in an empty bottle...

Saturday, July 30, 2011

They say...






They say she's different, crazy, special, weird, alien, born on another planet, out of normal etc. They think they know her very well. And they might be right because they are her family and friends. They know her pretty well to make statements about the way she is.
But maybe they don't know or understand why she's acting so crazily. She doesn't even know herself. Maybe because they like her being like that. They even say she is optimistic, a positive thinker. That is really odd... Years ago she used to be the most pessimistic person ever. Things have changed so much lately. She had to become stronger for them, her family and her friends. She has to support them each day, make them smile and rediscover the positive pieces from their complicated puzzle. Sometimes this is tiring, but at the same time it is very pleasant to see the ones she loves laughing and hoping again... This way she learnt to complain and cry less because there are people out there who have to face bigger problems than hers.
So she found out that helping her beloved ones when they are in need is a good thing not only for them, but at the same time for her because as she sees them gaining strength and the wish to continue, she gets the same feeling as they do... However, when sometimes she finds herself depressed and sad, she realizes that she doesn't have anyone there who could listen to her. She is sure that those who care for her would be there when she needs somebody to talk to, but she thinks it is better not to share her bad mood with anyone... except her dairy maybe...

There are the others, people who know her less, who she has just met... Who knows what they think about her? She knows that she still has that weakness from her teenage years, she knows she still lacks self-confidence most of the times. She hates that very much, but how can she change? She has tried to change for so many years. There is some progress in her attitude and behaviour but not enough... She still feels overwhelmed when talking with self-confident persons, she still feels uncomfortable when she feels that the person who she talks to is much stronger... She wishes she had changed completely because now being herself doesn't help too much. It makes her want to run away from people, she feels that people don't like her because she is too quiet and this is so unpleasant... And sometimes it makes her wanna cry and shout and disappear... But she doesn't do any of that... She has so many other things to handle that she doesn't have time to shed useless tears...

She prays for a change...




Sunday, July 17, 2011

...


"Du siehst mich nicht, doch fühlst du mich,
denn Tag und Nacht bin ich um dich.
Das Leben kann ich dir nicht geben
doch ohne mich kannst du nicht leben..."

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Have you ever... ?

Have you ever waken up in the morning, being so frustrated that you had a weird nightmare? I mean, why on Earth did I dream that scary stupidity? It made me feel so ill in the morning...


Have you ever wondered why we eat? Why aren't we able to live without eating? I know, God made us like that. But why?...


Have you ever stared at the cars passing before you and wondered where all that people go?


Have you ever found yourself staring at someone and wondering why is she / he sad or happy? Or what kind of person she/he is? Or where she/he lives?


Have you ever seen a house and wondered who lives in there? Or how it is inside?


It happens to me all the time... And I have so many other questions....

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

12 motive pentru care esti TAUR !

1. Primul motiv : Renuntarea iti este un concept strain. (I'LL NEVER GIVE UP!!!)
2. Motto-ul tau: Mai bine te lupti decat sa intorci spatele (Normal, nu arat bine de la spate :))))
3 .Vei manca orice (Foarte adevarat! Yummmyy :))))
4. Niciodata nu vei primi premiul pentru « tactica » . (Mda, mda...)
5. Muncesti prea mult.(Uneori ma minunez cat de mult pot munci :P)
6. Iti place incaltamintea practica. (CLAR!!! :))
7. Noi stim (toata lumea stie) ca o vei face (vei duce proiectul la bun sfarsit) (Like I said: I'LL NEVER GIVE UP!!!).
8. Esti, oh, atat de romantic… (Daaaa <3)
9. ...si atat de sociabil. (Daaaa :)))
10. Pentru mintea ta iscoditoare, nu exista taine. (In cazul asta, tare as vrea sa fiu pisica pentru ca nu-mi ajunge o singura viata ca sa invat si sa cunosc tot ce imi doresc! :)
11. Iti place sa te asociezi cu parteneri puternici. ;))
12. Open mind: Atunci cand o usa se inchide, se deschide alta. (Nimic mai adevarat ;) )

Noapte



Picură vântul arome neînţelese în ploi;
aleargă bătăi...
Miroase a sânge proaspăt
ţâşnind din dragostea atinsă
de mâna îndurerată, grea a vieţii.

Lacrimi de primăvară se ascund în frunze reci,
frunze negre...
Într-un Suflet pierdut pe căile jalnicului cer,
izvoare de-amarnică lumină-ntunecată
înghit rugile fără milă smulse din păcat...

Luna-n flori îşi adapă veacul de priveghi;
se sting făclii...
Nimicul dinăuntru aprinde tăceri de foc,
aruncând pietre de-ntuneric în abis...
Pustiu e ochiul de pâraie înecat...

Plecându-mi fruntea...


 
Plecându-mi fruntea
spre vaste, ameţitoare pământuri,
culeg rouă de pe mormântul unei voci...
Mă-nec! Să strig într-un copac
flăcări de sunete îngheţate
mi-e greu...

Aştept... doar o veşnicie.
Să cad în infinit aş vrea,
s-alung speranţe lunatice cu un sărut
din cupa vieţii.
Mă-mpiedic!... Tot mai aproape
de Nimeni.

Nori decăzuţi din natură
îmi străpung golul de suflet...
Un fluture cu aripi ofilite
devin în ultima clipă
a unui răsărit uitat
pe vecie!

Un 2024 cât mai bun!

Pexels: Jill Wellington Sunt aproape 3 ani de când nu am mai scris aici și mai pe nicăieri. Prioritățile au fost altele, viața s-a scurs ori...